Eustace Leaves Muriel
by CourageEditor
Summary: A story of Eustace, who has had it with Muriel and decides to live alone. But how safe can he be...alone?
1. Eustace Exits, Stage Right

Muriel& Eustace are at farmer's market.. They're looking at all of the food and gifts.  
  
Muriel: Hello there! How much are those precious little eggs.  
  
Farmer: One dollar a dozen miss.  
  
Muriel hands him the money and purchases the eggs.  
  
Famer: You have a good day now!  
  
Muriel: Thank you  
  
Eustace: What else are you going to buy Muriel? You already bought cabbage,onions,cashews,italian wedding soup,ginger snaps, pears,bananas, red licorice, and refried beans!  
  
Muriel: We have to eat Eustace we are living things you know.  
  
Eustace: Well, can you spare some food for the rest of the world? If you buy anymore the world's food supply will be completely gone, and so will be the rest of my money!  
  
Muriel: Oh Eustace really! Stop being so unreal!  
  
Eustace: You and what army women?  
  
Muriel picks up a pumpkin pie and chucks it in Eustace's face,throws him into a shopping cart and pushes the cart really fast and it crashes into a watermeleon display.  
  
Eustace: Thats it! I've had it with you! Your bossy commands! That stupid annoying dog! And that sitar you play at two in the morning everynight since I married you! I'm leavin'  
  
Muriel: Thats crazy Eustace! Your not leaving! You could never do that!  
  
Eustace: Give me one could reason why!  
  
Muriel: You wouldn't have a breakfast made every morning.  
  
Eustace: Try another reason.  
  
Muriel: You wouldn't have a home.  
  
Eustace: Try again!  
  
Muriel: You wouldn't have money, after all I'm the one who works at the sewing mill twice a month!  
  
Eustace pauses for about three minutes and then thinks up a responce.  
  
Eustace: Yeah Muriel, you win! But I insist...NO MORE GROCERIES!  
  
Muriel: If its that important to you I'll get them later.Oh I almost forgot something! Dogfood!  
  
Eustace: I thought we had a deal!  
  
Muriel: I can't let Courage starve Eustace!  
  
Eustace: You buy that food, bye-bye Eustace.  
  
Muriel: Stop being so selfish and self centered Eustace! Come back Eustace! Reality is calling you!  
  
Eustace: Well if its calling I'm not answering and I'm not coming back neither.  
  
Eustace storms out of the farmer's market and walks right through the exit door leaving an impression of his body.  
  
Muriel: (sobbering/mad): Eustace! Come back! You can't be out in the world alone! Your to....to....  
  
Muriel can't think of a word to finish her plead.Shirley approches Muriel in the market and taps her on the back and gives her a suggestion.  
  
Shirley: .....stupid to live alone?  
  
Muriel hates using mean words but is so upset she says one anyway.  
  
Muriel: Yeah, your too stupid to live alone.  
  
Muriel falls on her knees. Puts both hands on her forehead and sobs violently. Eustace walks back in the market.  
  
Muriel: Have you decided to stay?  
  
Eustace: Under one condition, get rid of the dog!  
  
Muriel doesn't say anything because she loves Courage and Eustace very much and she could never pick between them.  
  
Muriel: Eustace I don't know what to say.  
  
Eustace: (irritated) Neither do I!  
  
.Eustace slams the door and starts walking on a journey to find a new home.Muriel gets in the truck and drives home...alone. 


	2. Horrid Sweet Apartment

Muriel arrives home.Se slams the door behind her back. The door is slammed so hard it falls off the hinges. Courage runs over to Muriel to find out whats horribly wrong.  
  
Muriel: Eustace, Come back! I'm sorry!  
  
Courage: Its ok Muriel you still have me!  
  
Muriel gives Courage a big hug.  
  
Muriel: Well at least I still got you! Your the most loyal and loving person I still got!  
  
Courage holds up his dog bowl for Muriel, as a hint for some food.  
  
Muriel wipes the tears from her eyes  
  
Muriel: Ok Courage I'll get your blue ribbon dog food.  
  
She wanders into the kitchen and starts to cook.  
  
Courage decides to take a nap on Eustace's red chair, since he is no longer there. After ten minutes of cooking Muriel finishes.  
  
Muriel: Ok you two the food is ready!  
  
Courage runs into kitchen and sits in his usually seat, Muriel glances over to Eustace's vacant chair forgetting that he was gone. Muriel runs out of the kitchen ,goes into her bedroom,locks the door and starts crying.  
  
Courage: This is getting really awfull, I must do something to get the farmer back!  
  
Meanwhile the farmer has reached downtown Nowhere and is looking for an appartment. He sees a sign...  
  
KATZ APARTMENTS "You'll Never Look At Appartments The Same Again!" est. 2003  
  
FREE FOOD,FREE LODGING,FREE ENTERTAINMENT, & .....  
  
Eustace can't see the rest of the sign but here it is...  
  
...FREE BURIELS  
  
Eustace is thrilled over this great bargain!  
  
Eustace: Wow! Works for me!  
  
He walks into the lobby. Roaches are crawling on the walls and grubs are digging through holes in the tile floor and the room smells horrible because its built over a sulfer mound.  
  
Katz: Hello! Welcome to Katz Apartments!  
  
Eustace: Stop the jibber jabber and get me a room as quick as you can.  
  
Katz: Ok sir, the customer is always first!  
  
Eustace: This place sounds better than home!  
  
Katz: Here is your room key. Your in room 313. I call this the deluxe rooim. It has a jacuzzi but it needs repairs. Maybe your a handyman?  
  
Eustace: Oh yeah! I'm known all over for my handywork!  
  
Katz: Excellent! Well I'll be leaving now, I'll let you and your room get to know each other better.  
  
Eustace walks over to the bed and stands on it. He starts jumping on it.  
  
Eustace: Whoa! This is fun! Wheeee! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!  
  
Eustace catapolts off the bed and lands on the hardwood floor and he hits the ground with a loud smack!  
  
Eustace: My aching back! I better get that jacuzzi running!  
  
Eustace walks over into the bathroom and turns on the faucet glue runs out of it and he gets stuck to the sink.  
  
Eustace: Stupid sticky sink! What kind of a sink runs glue out of it!  
  
Suddenly the lights in the apartment building shut off and so does the heat. Eustace starts to shiver. Wind gusts through the walls because of the last of insulation.Then someone starts to strangle Eustace and he starts to choke for air!  
  
Eustace: What do you think your doing? Help! Somebody!  
  
Katz: Shut up you stupid old hag! I'm trying to kill you! How am I suppose to if you don't shut up!  
  
Eustace's life hangs in the balance as Katz is about to strangle him to death... 


	3. Scooby Dooby Doo!

Katz pulls out an axe behind his back and swings towards Eustace's head, but misses.  
  
Katz: How about we play a game of lumberjack, shall we?  
  
Eustace: Your an insanely stupid cat!  
  
Katz: Maybe I wouldn't be so stupid if I killed you  
  
Eustace: What would that prove?  
  
Katz: I would become infamous!  
  
Eustace: Becoming infamous is just wastin' your time!  
  
Katz: Oh really, lets just see about that!  
  
Katz swings again towards Eustace's head, Eustace jumps out of the way and starts running.  
  
Katz: Comeback! You'll give me publicity...once your dead!  
  
The lights flicker back on and Eustace finds a vase and chucks it at Katz's head. Katz yells out and falls to the ground.  
  
Eustace: Catch me if you can! Ho Ho Ha Ha!  
  
Eustace grabs Katz's wallet and starts picking money out of it while he's running  
  
Eustace: Oh boy! A $500 bill! Just what I always was wantin'!  
  
Scooby Doo appears out of nowhere and asks...  
  
Scooby Doo: Need any help defeating the cat!  
  
Eustace: No! I don't need help from any stupid dog!  
  
Scooby Doo: Sheez, no one was ever that rude on my team! I better go find Daphne...  
  
Scooby vanishes into thin air.  
  
Katz: Hey! give me back my wallet you theif!  
  
Eustace: Shut up! I might as well take it since your a crazy sicko!  
  
Katz: Actually I'm not a crazy sicko, I've only earned a looney idiot degree!  
  
Eustace: Who cares!?  
  
Eustace runs over to a window,smashes it and starts climbing down a fire escape. He can see because  
  
the street lights are on.  
  
Eustace: No more stupid cat! I hope he chokes on his own hairball! He'll never get me now, or me' money! 


	4. Look At The Camera & Finale

Katz: (calmly) Leaving so soon dear boy? Wouldn't you like to play the game: The man who gets killed, so I get lots of publicity?  
  
Eustace: Never heard of it!  
  
Katz walks down the fire escape.  
  
Katz: Oh its really simple the first step is this!  
  
Katz sticks a knife in Eustace's back and he falls over. Katz laughs with an evil grin until the police comes walking down the street.  
  
Policeman: You've killed Eustace Bagge!  
  
Katz: Thats the first step.  
  
Policeman: What in the world are you talkin about?  
  
Katz: My name will be in the headlines, it will say KATZ KILLS EUSTACE BAGGE, and I will be known by the whole world! I'll finally be somebody!  
  
Policeman: You know who you'll be known by?  
  
Katz: Let me guess, the president right?  
  
Policeman: My mother.  
  
Katz: What the heck does she have to do with all of this?  
  
Policeman: Why..she is the jailkeeper.She runs the place. She really hates cats. She is known for something famous you know.  
  
Katz (worried): Oh..I'm not familar with that..what does she do?  
  
Policeman: Makes coats out of cats and wears them around the world in fashion shows in her spare time.In fact she needs a red coat!  
  
Katz: No! I think I must be leaving now!  
  
Muriel pulls up to the scene of the incident, after being telephoned by the Nowhere police that Eustace has been stabbed.When the truck pulls up it runs over Katz.  
  
Muriel: Is everything alright?  
  
Policeman: I think Eustace didn't make it.  
  
Eustace: No I'm ok! I need a doctor though! Don't take me to Vindaloo's hospital though, his back surgery is terrible!  
  
Policeman: Looks like Katz has been taken care of, I don't think you'll be hearing from him anymore.  
  
Eustace: Thanks Muriel, for running over the stupid cat! I take back what I said Muriel! See the camera over their Muriel?  
  
Muriel: Oh yes, is that the Nowhere News ?  
  
Courage jumps out of the truck and says...  
  
Courage: Smile Muriel, your on Nowhere Candid Camera!  
  
Muriel: Oh, what a pleasent suprise! No one was killed!  
  
Katz climbs out from under the car.  
  
Katz: Now since the prank is over who wants to go to Burger's Really Cheap?  
  
Eustace: I do, its cheap!  
  
Muriel: Oh Eustace, your always cheap!  
  
Eustace: Take that back!  
  
The End 


End file.
